


Angelic

by afuckingcastleintheclouds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afuckingcastleintheclouds/pseuds/afuckingcastleintheclouds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one quite remembered whose awful idea it was to go to the beach that day. Liam briefly recalled Harry’s mum saying quietly, “Go on. Go to the beach. You all need it,” that morning and each boy’s mother agreed. There was obvious tension in the car. The radio softly played tunes, but no one was really paying much attention. No one really said anything for a long time. No one had said anything real since that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angelic

No one quite remembered whose awful idea it was to go to the beach that day. Liam briefly recalled Harry’s mum saying quietly, “Go on. Go to the beach. You all need it,” that morning and each boy’s mother agreed. Management was informed and allowed the boys some time off to enjoy the beach alone. It took about a full day of traveling to get to the best beach, but it was worth it. So, they all sat in a mini-van as Louis was drove tensely. There was obvious tension in the car. The radio softly played tunes, but no one was really paying much attention. About an hour into their journey, Niall was sitting with his head against the window, in the back, fiddling with his hoodie strings. Liam was slumped on the other window side, with a book his hands, but his eyes were not really moving across the pages. Harry squeezed between them, looking at his hands. Zayn sat in the passenger’s seat with his sunglasses on and he gazed aimlessly out the window. No one really said anything for a long time.

Harry tried, “Are you looking forward to the beach?”  
No one replied, save for Zayn who merely grunted. Harry continued, “I remember, one time, Mum, Gemma, and I came to the beach. It was one of the best days of my life. I liked seeing all the people and their families just walking by. The sun was high, but not too hot. Gemma buried me in the sand for an hour, I remember. My face was completely red by the time she got me out and the rest of me was-”

Harry was interrupted by Liam who snapped to Niall, “Will you stop that?”

Niall replied, “Stop what?”

“Stop playing with your hoodie strings. It’s annoying.”

Niall shot back, “It’s not bothering you, so mind your business.”

Harry joked, “Touchy, touchy.”

Liam continued, “I’m trying to read here and I can see you from the corner of my eyes.”

“Well stop looking at me, then”

Zayn said sharply, “Just shut up, back there.” Once again, the car was thrown into silence.

There was not much that changed within the next hour until the radio became a problem. They all stiffened as they recognized the beginning chords to the song they could sing in their sleep. Louis gripped the wheel tighter. “Shut it off,” he said to Zayn in a low voice.

Zayn fumbled with the buttons on the older car as he tried to shut it off. However, he accidentally made the song louder just as Liam’s voice on the radio sang, “You’re insecure, don’t know what for.”

Louis growled, “I said, turn the fucking radio off.”

Zayn glared at Louis, “I’m fucking trying.” A moment later, Zayn figured how to shut off the radio, just before Harry’s solo. They didn’t turn the radio back on after that.

Harry chuckled, “Yeah, I guess it is a bit awkward to listen to your own songs on the radio.”

No one laughed at his attempt at a joke.

 

 

All the boys, except for Louis, had fallen asleep by the time the boys reached the beach area. However, since they left so late and traffic was particularly bad, the sun had already set, so Louis turned the van into a nearby motel for the night. Their mothers figured this would occur and sent the boys with one suitcase with enough clothes for each. Louis shut off the car and nudged Zayn to wake him up. Louis said sharply, “I’m going to get us a room. Wake them up,” before exiting the car. Zayn groggily opened his eyes and took note of their location. He turned to back to wake up the rest of the sleeping boys.

“Guys,” he said, tiredly. “Guys, you have to get up.”

He was thankful that the boys instantly started to stir. Niall murmured, “Where are we?”

Zayn answered, “Motel. It’s too late for the beach tonight. We’ll go tomorrow.”

Harry asked, “Where’s Lou?”

Zayn said as he unbuckled himself, “Oh and Louis went inside to get us a room. Get out of the car, I’ll get our bag.”

 

 

Louis arrived moments later to retrieve the boys and they headed to their motel room. They stumbled into it before Liam flicked the lights on. He noted softly, “There’s room for four.” There were indeed two large double beds in the room.

Harry sighed, “I guess I’ll be taking the chair again?”

Niall slumped onto a bed, “Guess so.”

Louis exited the motel room immediately and walked to the outside balcony which overlooked the parking lot.

Liam stood up to follow, but then hesitated. Harry said gently, “No, I’ll go,” just as Liam turned around and sat on a bed instead.  
Harry followed Louis outside. Louis was gripping the rail as he looked up into the night sky.

“Lou?” Harry said gently. “Lou, will you please say something to me?”

Louis instead remained fixed on the stars. Harry walked closer, placing a gentle hand on Louis’s forearm. Louis’s breath hitched and he glanced down at his arm, but then back at the stars.

Harry tried again, “Louis? Please, say something-anything.”

“I miss talking to you, Harry,” Louis began softly. Harry instantly looked up, desperately searching for a pair of electric blue eyes that didn’t meet his own. “I miss when we first met all the way back then at X Factor. I miss how uncomplicated everything was back then. I miss how uncomplicated we used to be. I guess, I just miss us. A-and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry t-that you told me loved me and I just stood there like an idiot and let you walk away. I let you go. And then, and then, y-you,” Louis swallowed a lump in his throat. He finished bitterly, “Well you know what happened next, don’t you. It’s been six weeks and I still can’t-” He cut himself short. He resumed, his voice barely above a whisper, “I just need you to know that I’m sorry, Harry. And I’ll never forgive myself ‘till the day I die.”

He saw tears glisten in Louis’s eyes. Harry whimpered, “No, Lou. You have to forgive yourself. It was my fault, really. I mean, I shouldn’t have had those drinks anyways. I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that. D-don’t blame yourself for a second, Lou.” After a long time, Harry released Louis’s arm. He murmured, “I’m so, so sorry,” as he headed back to the room.

By the time he got back, the rest of the boys were asleep. Niall slept beside Liam while Zayn, surprisingly, took the chair. Harry kicked off his shoes just as Louis walked back in. Without a word, he took of his Toms and slipped into bed. Harry joined him a moment later, facing Louis’s back. Harry muttered quietly, “I still love you, you know.” Louis merely shifted his shoulders slightly. He wanted desperately to cling to Louis like nothing else in the world mattered. Nothing else mattered anymore. He wanted to turn Louis around and wipe the silent tears he knew were falling. We wanted to brush the boy’s messy hair from his eyes and kiss him senseless until both boys’ eyes were dry. Harry wanted to do all of these things. But, of course, he couldn’t do this due to their little ‘arrangement’.

 

 

The next morning was fairly quiet as well. They simply changed into proper ‘beach attire’ and brushed their teeth before heading back out. The beach was really close to the dingy motel, so they chose to walk. It was around noon when they got there. It wasn’t very crowded. There were a few families with some small children. Their hair whipped behind them as they ran in the hot sand. Their innocence and joy radiated from their red, happy faces. Their shrieks of laughter made up for the deafening silence of the boys who just entered the beach.

Harry beamed, “We’re finally at the beach, guys!”

Louis muttered, “This was a stupid idea,” as he trotted off to sit in the sun, alone. Liam closed his eyes, trying to control the rage he felt towards the other boy.

Niall said, attempting to comfort him, “Let’s just do what Anne said, okay? For her sake, let’s just try and have a good time.”

Zayn shook his head, “You know what? I think I’m just going to sit down over there,” as he pointed to the opposite side of the beach.”

Liam sighed, “I’m going to kick a ball around. I think I see one.” Without waiting for another word, he set out.

Niall said quietly, when Zayn and Liam had gone, “I’m sorry, Harry. I know this is your favorite place.”

Harry murmured, “That’s okay, Niall,” just before Niall marched off to sit in the shade.

 

 

The boys stayed separate from each other for a long time. Harry himself stayed in the water, enjoying the feel of the ocean against his skin. The water soaked his curls and he felt like baby Tarzan. Pool water was great, but there was nothing like the salty sea. He barely remembered anything from his childhood except for the best memories of him and his real dad at the beach. His real dad actually died a few years after the divorce in a boating accident. He remembered walking along the hot, white sand, holding his dad’s hand after a long day of splashing and playing football. Harry noticed as a little boy with light brown curls and bright, green eyes sat on his dad’s shoulders, squealing with delight. Harry grinned slightly as he watched the two. Harry trotted back to the sand where he noticed Louis. He dried himself off, quickly, with a towel and sat beside the older boy.

Louis didn’t change his focus from where it was looking. His face was concealed behind big, black sunglasses. Harry didn’t say anything; he was waiting for Louis to speak first this time. After a long time, he whimpered, “I love you, Harry. Not in the brotherly or bromance kind of way. I love you in the very real, crazy kind of way. Like the way that I know you loved me. A-and I’m sorry for everything. But most of all, I-I’m sorry I waited so long to say it.” A small teardrop began to fall down Louis’s face.

Harry simply smiled as his own eyes glistened, “It’s okay, Louis. It’s all going to be okay. I will always love you.” He took Louis’s hand in his own for a few moments before offering it a chaste kiss. He announced sadly, “I’ll be back, Louis. I just have to go do something for a little bit. I will see you soon, though. Go do something fun.”  
Louis sniffled and wiped his eyes. He, then, flicked off his sunglasses and found a place in the sand without any litter at all. It was somewhat close to the shore. He got down on his knees and made a large circle. Harry, before actually going off, said calmly, “Liam. Zayn. Niall.”

Out of nowhere, Liam arrived with sweaty skin and a ball in hand. His ball had rolled a little too close to Louis and he wanted to retrieve it. Silently, he observed what Louis was doing. Without asking permission, he got down on his knees and added a large stick figure body to the large circle.

Zayn suddenly appeared with his earphones in his hand. Liam looked at him quizzically and he explained, “I was taking a walk. Somehow, I ended up here.” Louis was concentrating as he perfected the face in the picture. Zayn knelt down beside Louis and added a name next to the drawing.

Niall as well trotted over. He was somewhat confused and explained his arrival as simply intuition. Niall knelt down on both knees alongside the drawing and added the signature hair to the drawing. As Louis finished the face, right down to the dimples, he plopped down next to the drawing, exhausted.

He looked down at his wrist and noticed there was a thick, black bracelet where there hadn’t been before. His heart literally stopped for a moment when he realized whose it was. This was Harry’s bracelet. The one he always wore. It was slightly torn and a little faded, but had the tiny heart drawn on the inside which signified that it was definitely Harry’s. Louis himself drew it there a long time ago. It was around X Factor. He hadn’t realized he’d been crying but once he did, the tears didn’t stop. They came out in heart-wrenching, heavy sobs. Before they knew it, the boys engulfed each other in a group hug, full of tears, sobs, and apologies to one another.

 

 

 

Harry smiled sadly as he watched his friends from a distance. They were sobbing, but they were together. They were clinging onto each other for dear life. Harry had full confidence that they would start talking again and recuperate fully. But a part of him was sad, because he knew he had to go now. He knew that they would grow up and find new loves and raise families and maybe bring them to the beach one day. They would make new goals, make new dreams and fulfill them. And although Harry would no longer be part of their lives, he would always watch over them. He was their guardian angel.

“Are you ready?” a deep voice asked. Harry turned around and looked into his dad’s vivid green eyes.  
Harry felt like a little boy again as he took his Dad’s hand. He glanced lovingly one more time at the four boys at the beach before turning back. He said confidently, “’Course, Dad.” And the two of them walked along the beach, across the hot, white sand into where the light awaited them.

 

 

 

Hours later, long after the boys left the beach, the tide rolled in erasing the drawing and the words, ‘R.I.P. Harry Styles’ from their place in the sand.


End file.
